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  • Wednesday

June 01, 2024

WEDNESDAY

BY ASHLEY WARD

 

"Oh, sweetie, is it happening again?" The cries of my mother overwhelmed me as I sat on the floor of the basement, holding my favorite stuffed animal shaped as a devil (I know: odd, right?), covered in scratches and bite marks from head to toe. I can't believe this is happening again, I'm just so ready for this torture to be over.

The older I get the harder this painful experience gets. Why? Why me? Out of all 7 billion people in this world, why did it have to be me that on the first Wednesday of every month, gets the unlucky draw of physically living out any nightmare I have without the knowledge of it happening until I wake up.

"I think this is the worst one I have ever gone through, Mom. I just can't keep doing this."

"I know, Honey. I promise we will find you some help, we just need to be patient."

"I don't have it in me to be patient anymore. I want a cure and I want it now!"

As my mom backs away into the ripped sheets and destroyed pieces of furniture, oddly enough with a smirk on her face, I realize that I am not fully awake, and am still living through this awful nightmare.

"If I get told one more time that we have to patient and wait on a cure, I swear to God I will burn this house down and leave no trails that it ever existed!"

What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this? Why can't I snap out of this horrible place?

All I see is my mother, as she's leading me upstairs to the attic. Why is she taking me up here? And why does she have a gas can in her hand? What does she have planned?

"Don't worry, Darling. All your problems are about to be solved, now that you are finally old enough to understand."

As she hands me the gas can, all I can think of is fire. Burning. Destroying this place. But a part of me is also trying to fight to the surface of my destroyed mind and pull me away from those strong thoughts. But as I am trying to fight my inner demons, my mother is staring at me, with what feels like some sort of link between us that is causing me to slowly lift my hand, making the gas slowly pour out onto the floor.

"No! Stop! I don't know how you're doing this, but stop! Why are you making me do this? And how?" I screamed as my mother tilted the can even more.

BOOM!

Darkness. And my mother. That is all I see. But she looks different, but oddly familiar. She has these horns, and these devilish looking teeth. Everything feels so strange, but so right at the same time.

"What is happening to me?"

"You are home, where you belong." She screeches and laughs.

"No, this isn't home. And who are you? What have you done with my mother?"

This beast won't stop staring at me as I launch myself forward ready to attack, but suddenly I am thrown back against the wall. Confused, I get up and try again. No luck.

"Oh, silly little thing, it is now time for you to learn, and become one of us to your full potential. You have always had it in you, but you were always too dumb to figure it out, until now."

As I am taking in this beast's words, who claims to be my mother, I am finally putting some pieces together.

Then it hits me.

As I look down, I see my stuffed animal again. And that's how I recognized my mother, as the ugly, but familiar, devil that I am looking straight in the eyes of. And now I realize that she was right all along, it all makes sense now.

My whole life has been a lie. There was no cure, no nightmare, no "real" mother.

All of that was real, I just didn't know how to summon my true self. This is the real me, and I have been stuck in this revolving event my entire life because I simply did not know how to transform into my true identity.

I never believed in demons and the devil, until now.

Now that I know, there was one simple and easy fix. That fix was that I never truly believed in myself, until today.